Captain Hook and the Mary Sue
by Salomedancing
Summary: Just for fun. No live Mary Sue suffered while this fic was written.


AN: Thanks to Japanpeterpan for beta.

This is just for fun. I wrote this without bearing any particular fic in mind.

In Neverland the most wondrous- and silly- things can happen, so when Captain Hook encountered a young woman on one of his searches for Peter Pan, he wasn't unduly surprised. She looked passable, long white-blond hair flowed down her back, and though she stared at him with a rather idiotically blissful expression on her face, she was quite pretty. Badly dressed, though. He took a turn around her and appraised her figure- she would make a suitable entertainment for the night, and Hook felt inclined to blow of the Pan-searching business for another day.

Meanwhile the female seemed to have composed herself somewhat and opened her mouth for the first time. "Oh my god! You do look just like the actor!"

Hook frowned. He didn't approve of being likened to an actor, he was a gentleman, and ought not be compared to the lower class. But he didn't say anything about it, he just gave her a slight bow.

"I am Captain James Hook, Miss. And you are?"

"Oh. I... Aurora. Yes, that's it. Aurora."

Hook raised an eyebrow, but made no comment. If the hussy preferred to go under an assumed name he wouldn't be the one to make a fuss about it. After all, so did he. He offered her his arm instead, and noticed that her hands were well-kept and clean, so this was obviously not a working woman, though evidently slightly air-headed.

"May I escort you to my ship?"

Aurora giggled, and took his arm without hesitation. While they walked she prattled on, affirming Hook's belief that she was not the brightest woman he had met.

"Do you like my hair?" she asked, throwing back the mane of blond tresses. "I quite liked going Lucius," she continued when Hook made an affirmative noise. "But I think it will have to be dark and curly the next time."

This statement was followed by a coy and rather flirty smile in Hook's direction. Most of what she said followed those lines. They made little, or no sense to Hook, and by the time they reached the ship he was heartily tired of her voice. Well, shutting her up was something that could be easily

arranged as soon as they were back in his cabin.

Aurora professed to be mightily impressed by the cabin, fluttering around it and exclaiming over every other object. Hook said very little, but made sure to order a sumptuous meal, and then leading her to the table in a most courteous way. For Captain Hook was a man who never forgot his manners, even if his plans for the young woman were altogether sinister.

He let her eat, and drink, and talk, until the meal was over. Aurora had become decidedly tipsy from the good wine the Captain had plied her with, and as the meal progressed she had grown more and more flirty. Sadly it had also made her talk, and giggle, with a new fervor, and Hook decided that it

was time to get a better use of her mouth. He quickly stepped up to her chair and yanked her up on her toes and kissed her.

It was a most pleasant kiss, the girl smelt clean, and after an initial stiffness she responded quite nicely. Hook smirked and continued to devour her mouth, but when his hand slid down to cup a nicely sized breast, she took a step back.

"My, that was great, Captain, but now I'm quite tired. Would you care to show me to my cabin?"

Hook gesticulated toward the bed. "You will of course sleep here."

"That's very generous of you Captain, giving up your cabin for me."

Hook couldn't help rolling his eyes. The girl was dense, there was no doubt of that.

"Not at all, my beauty, I have no inclination to give anything up." With that he encircled Aurora's waist with his hooked arm, pulling close to him. She simpered and wriggled, which pressed her breast into Hook's chest in a most enticing way.

"No!"

"No? What did you expect? You followed me, without fuss I may add, to my ship. And you eat dinner with me without once claiming the need for a chaperone. That's clearly not the behaviour of a lady. I would rather say that you have led me to believe that you were not averse to my advances.

"I'm not eighteen yet."

"So?"

Aurora stamped her foot. "I never read chan. It's disgusting. I said I didn't want that sort of fic. It's not supposed to happen like this."

"What is not supposed?"

"This! You're supposed to fall in love with me! And when we are married we will adopt Peter Pan, and everyone will be happy."

Hook decided that enough was enough. The girl proved to have a good voice for screaming, but being a man of practical nature he soon found this and that to stuff her mouth with, and all in all the night didn't prove to be so bad, after all.

Mr. Smith was a smallish person, easily made nervous, and Captain Hook made him exceedingly nervous. However, the connection with the Captain had proved lucrative, so therefore he waited patiently. Eventually Hook arrived, carrying an unconcious Aurora over one shoulder. He dumped her unceremoniously on the ground. Mr. Smith peered at her, and then looked at Hook.

"Just one night? I thought she was unusually pretty, and ought to satisfy a bit longer."

Hook flipped him a a few diamonds. "I'm getting bored by this stream of ignorant virgins. I would tenfold your salary if you could bring me something else."

"Oh? Such as?"

"Someone with education. Do you know how annoying the prattle of these girls is? For once I'd like a woman who knew her arts and music. I am a man of culture after all, not your average run of the mill pirate. Then there is this constant prudery. Bring me a real woman, who knows how to please a man beforehand, and doesn't scream blue murder as soon as you touch her."

"Well Captain, I'm afraid there is a slight problem with that." Mr. Smith retreated a bit when Hook's eyebrows snapped together.

"You see, a woman of your description, she wouldn't want to come. She is intelligent enough to realise that you are not a man to be formed after her wishes, like these girls do. That's why they come so eagerly, you know. They see a movie with a handsome man, they read some fanfics- write them too, and come to think that all that you need is a woman's touch to become everything they wanted. I have a long line waiting"

"I would rather do it with Pan, than with another silly wench like this one."

Mr. Smith looked brighter at once. "Actually, Captain, that would be a very good idea. Our market research shows that it's a fair number of ladies who would enjoy that. It has a potential..."

"Silence! Are you mad? It was just a figure of speech."

Mr. Smith reddened a little. "Ah, well. Anyway, the problem is that a lady of the qualities you search for, doesn't want to come. They realise that a man who gladly guts his employees and stray children isn't the perfect partner. I'm sorry, but there it is."

Hook snorted. "Well, that's what I want. You better come up with a plan to lure something more suitable here. As greedy as you are, I'm sure you will come up with something."

Hook left Mr Smith to ponder on that. It was a fine day, and Hook lit a cigar as he strolled down the path. He would search for Pan today, he rather thought, this day he might get lucky.

End


End file.
